Old Habits Die Hard
by sheiba90
Summary: Yuuki attend Cross Academy, but is a very depressed girl. Kaname falls in love with her and tries to prevent her from cutting herself by giving her a reason to want to live.will she continue to be depressed or will she allow him to revive her?
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTER ASSOCIATED WITH VAMPIRE KNIGHT_

_Alright, this is the deal with this fic. It has a dark theme to it as well as dark intensions.__ In this __fic__, Kaname and Yuuki are not related. Yuuki attend Cross Academy, but is a very depressed girl. Kaname falls in love with her and tries to prevent her from cutting herself by giving her a reason to want to live. So will she continue to be depressed or will she allow his love to bring her back to life._

Music blared from her headphones and sank into her ears as she pulled the thin blade from under her pillow.

'Funny", she thought, 'this is still the only way to make myself feel complete.' Rolling up the sleeve to her Cross Academy Uniform she studied the scars left from the past nights she had bled herself: Those scars that marred her skin but still meant nothing in her mind. She placed the blade against her flesh and dragged it slowly across, watching the beads of blood appear against her skin before seeping over into a soft trickle down her arm. Lifting the blade she repeated the process and continued on until the blood flowing began dripping on the ground.

Dropping the blade she watched the blood continue to flow silently hoping she would die from blood loss. This was no way to live, pretending to be someone by day, but knowing in reality that she would never be anything but this hollow shell of a girl. Sighing, she reaches for the blade to continue her nightly ritual.

"Why are you doing this?" Jumping, she turned towards the open balcony door to see the figure standing in the shadow of the moonlight. "Why do you purposely cause yourself pain?"

"Why shouldn't I" She yelled angrily at the figure lifting the blade and placing it to her wrist. "Why shouldn't I end my life right now? It's not like anyone would care!" She went to pull the blade across her wrist only to find herself unable to move her arm. Lifting her eyes to meet the stranger before her she saw the dark hair and red eyes searching her own brown ones.

"I would care Yuuki." Kaname's eyes shifted to her bleeding arm as he lend down and licked one of the many cuts she had made. "You would take away something so precious?" He pulled her against him hugging her tightly and stroking her hair. "Don't you know I love you more than my own like?"

Yuuki froze as his word sank into her consciousness. How could he love her? She was nothing. She held no beauty, no intellect. All she could offer him was the depression she felt every time she stepped into the world of reality.

"How could you love me Kaname? I am worthless. I am fit for nothing but death." She closed her eyes as tears pain slid down her cheeks. Kaname wiped the tear from her cheek and smiles at her.

"You are worth everything Yuuki. Until you see that for yourself, I will not leave you alone." He pushed her back until she sat on the bed and peered at her arm. Sending her a light smile he raised her arm to his lips and licked away the blood that remained before removing is neck tie and wrapping the cuts. "I will not allow you to damage yourself further understand.

She blushed and looked away from him nodding her head as she pulled her arm away from his touch. Looking back up she saw that he had gone and taken with him the tool she used to destroy herself. New tears filled her eyes and she began crying again unable to fathom why he would do this thing.

"Why are you doing this to me Kaname? Why won't you just let me die?" She fell back on her bed curling up into a ball and crying herself to sleep unaware of the Vampire who stood on her balcony asking an almost parallel question.

"Why are you doing this to me Yuuki? Why must you keep trying to kill yourself?"

_So what do you think? I hope you have enjoyed it thus far. I now __Its__ short, but this is only the beginning of what will either turn into a transformation or a descent into death. What should it be? You, the Reader Decide… _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Authors Note: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTER ASSOCIATED WITH VAMPIRE KNIGHT**_

_**I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reviewed and loved the fic. But tell me, should Yuuki die or be saved? I'm counting on you guys to give me the answer. But for now, let's see what happens next…

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Standing on the ledge to her balcony, he sat watching her sleep. It had been a week since he had tasted her blood, that sweet succulent blood. He wanted more. Not just of her blood though, of her body, her mind. For this week he had watched her he saw the epitome of darkness, the embodiment of a tortured soul. Those made him desire her all the more.

Walking through the open window into her room he sat down on her bed. There, next to her head, was a small black note book. Opening the book he scanned the pages stopping on one that smelled faintly of blood. Looking closely at the drawing his suspicions were confirmed. The picture was drawn using her blood as paint. It was not, however, the fact that her blood was used as ink, it was what she depicted.

The picture was of a vampire, covered in blood, eyes bright red. Held in his hand was a human heart, blood dripping from the mass. Peering at the sleeping girl, he smiled at her. She really was darkness. Placing the book back by her head he walked back outside to continue his watch.

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Yuuki looked around the room through a slit in her eyes. She had felt him approaching and faked sleep, but he would not stop her tonight. Waiting a little before sitting up, she reached under her pillow and pulled out the small vile of cyanide she had stolen from the science lab. She took a deep breath and uncorked the bottle.

"What do you think you're doing Yuuki?" Kaname whispered in her ear, his hand over her now trembling one. "Were you going to drink this?" She lowered her head, turning away from him.

"Do you even have to ask?" She lowered her hand balling it into a fist."Why the can't you just let me die?" She looked into his eyes; hers filled with anger and pain. "That's all I want. I just want to die." Kaname stared into her eyes before allowing his gaze to slip to her exposed neck. He watched with entrapped fascination as the blood pulse through her vein flowing under her skin, calling to his inner beast.

"Because," He began leaning into her, allowing his breath to tickle her neck. "I won't let something so delicious escape me." He smiled as he watched the red hugh rise in her cheeks. Tilting her neck to the side, she offered it to him, hope silently he would just sink in his fangs and rip out her throat.

"Go on then, drink your fill and then, when you are done, kill me." She lifted her hand and dragged across her neck, lightly cutting herself with the razor she had concealed.

Kaname sighed, pulling her hand back into his own and taking away the razor. He turned his attention back to her neck, now dripping from light trails of blood that disappeared behind the color of her school uniform. Pulling away the collar he traced up her neck, licking away the blood she had spilled before sinking his fangs into the side of her neck. She stared blankly forward as though not even aware of his intrusion.

Though, of course, to him she didn't care, she relished the feeling of his fangs puncturing her skin. Feeling him drinking from her gave her back a small ounce of her desire for life. It was funny how this being of death could make her want to live when nothing else in life could. As her body began to relax against him, she sighed softly squeezing his hand.

"Kaname, what have you done to me?" She whispered closing her eyes and drifting into her first peaceful in ages.

The second she was fully asleep he with drew his fangs from her neck licking the shallow puncture wound he had given her. It was barely enough to draw a descent amount of blood, but he knew that if he had, he would have turned her that very night. She wasn't ready yet though. He needed her to desire her own life before he'd give her life eternal. Tucking her into the sheets, he placed a kiss on her lips and left for the Dormitory.

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Ok, I know, not as intense as the first chapter, but it's coming I swear. Just tell me what you think and if you think I should change anything. I'd also appreciate someone pointing out Grammer and other such mistakes. bye bye and thank you 


	3. Chapter 3

_Alright People. I know I've taken for ever to update and I'm sorry. Its my senior year in High School and they're is a ton of crap we have to do. Anyone who's in my boat or has been there knows what I'm talking about. Thanks to all of you who've read and reviewed my fic and I hope you like this chapter. Rido's making an appearance._

_Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS ASSOCIATED WITH VAMPIRE KNIGHT! T-T_

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Sitting in the mirror, Yuuki smiled at herself putting on the finishing touches of her make-up. Kaname had promised he would take her somewhere lovely tonight and had even brought her a Gothic Lolita dress for the occasion. She had affectively set of the black and red with pale foundation, dark red lipstick and black eye shadow and liner. For the first time in as long as she could remember she was looking forward to living, being with Kaname for this night and many others to come.

"What are you doing Yuuki?" A chilling voice whispered in her ear affectively killing all feelings of joy in her appearance. She lowered her head and stared at her hands tightly clenching them in her lap. She knew better than to speak. To speak was to give him a reason to blame his actions on her. So she sat silent, motionless, unwavering as she felt his cold finger tips trail down her neck.

"Turn and face me Yuuki." He hissed enjoying the scent of fear rising offer of her despite her best efforts to keep it at bay. She turned to face him, unable to look into either the crimson or gold eye that stared. He grasped her chin between his fingers and pulled her up to stare into her eyes.

"Is this happiness I see from you Yuuki?" She trembled in fear as he slid a finger over the fang marks she had received from Kaname. "Some other Vampire has brought you the happiness that I had stolen from those pretty eyes of yours." He dug his nails into the marks, drawing blood and a hiss of pain from Yuuki. Tears welled in her eyes sliding down her cheek.

He would take everything from her again just as he had before. Yuuki sank into her self as she felt him rip off the dress she wore, effectively shredding it into nothing, leaving her in the under skirt and tank she wore. He pushed against the vanity, settling himself between her legs as he sank his fangs into the old markings on her shoulder. She flinched, unable to keep her pain from showing in her face.

The familiar panic set in as he pulled away her under garments, leaving her naked and exposed to his rough touch and bites. She couldn't hold in her tears or bite back the cries of pain that fell from her lips as he released himself from his pants and enter quick and fast, not giving her time to adjust before he started his brutal pounding.

Unable to take the pain she passed out long before he finished with her, her last thoughts of the shredded dress on the floor. Kaname had made it special for her. He would be so disappointed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Must Read Author's Note First!!**

_Hey I know it' been a while but I've had a hard as crap time trying to come up with another chapter so I ask for all of your help. This is what I have so far but I don't know what to do next. If you have any ideas then send them to me, I'll greatly appreciate it. Thank You!!_

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Kaname stood over Yuuki's still body, tears of anguish pouring down his face. He stooped down, picking her up, ignoring the harsh small of seamen that clung to her body. After all of the time he had spent with her, building her back up and trying to fill her with confidence, Rido had seemingly taken that all from her in one night.

Yuuki was not unconscious, nor was she dead. Her eyes stared blankly forward unfocused and un blinking, almost as though her soul had left her body. She had not answered him any of the times he called out to her and when he touched her, her skin held a cold unfamiliar feel to it.

Kaname carried her back to the moon dorms ignoring the stares of the others as he took her to his room and laid her down gently on the bed. Walking into the bathroom he ran a warm bath before returning to the room. Lifting her gently he took her into the bathroom and set her on the edge of the tub so he could remove her shredded clothing. They slid off revealing some deep gashes on the sides of her hip and breast. Growling audibly, he slid her into the water, and began softly scrubbing away the dried blood and body fluids that stuck to her.

After he finished bathing her he took her back into his room and tucked her into under the covers. He watched her chest rise and fall until her eyes closed, never recognizing that her guardian watched over her, silently crying as she continued to stare blankly forward.


	5. Chapter 5

**Must Read Author's Note First!!**

_Alright people, thank you for the ideas. I apologize for taking so long, but i was have a devil of a time trying to figure out what happens next. So I think I will indulge my readers interest by putting a lemon in this chapter. I have to warn you though, it's not a good one. . The memory of the first night Rido raped her, what made her who she is._

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Yuuki shot up, releasing a bone chilling scream. Her body was covered in sweat, and her heart raced, thundering in her chest. She looked around the room, lost, frightened. What was going on? Had _HE_ taken her somewhere? Tears began to fill her eyes, quickly spilling over and running down her cheeks. She pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably.Why hadn't she just destroyed herself before he came for her. Before he came to take her away forever? He mind began to think of the first time he had come to her, when she thought she had wanted his affections. Before she found out what a monster he truely was.

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_Yuuki looked longingly at the beautiful vampire entered the classroom. He was like a god in his appearance. He was tall and lean, with wavy black hair and beautiful two-toned eyes. He looked around empty classroom, settling his eyes on Yuuki's awe-struck face. Smirking he walked up to her, stopping a hairs-breath away from her still form. Yuuki stared up at him, wonderment in her eyes, until she realized she was staring. She instantly dropped her gaze and began blushing._

_He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen and for some reason, all she could think about was wishing he would push her against the wall and kiss her, caress her body, and make her want him more. Widening her eyes, she blushed even deeper and looked up at him._

_"Um.. E-excuse me sir, this classroom is off limits. The only place the night class is allowed..."_

_"I'm not part of the night class." He said interrupting her. "I am Rido Kuran. I came here for you Yuuki Cross." With that, he leaned down and kissed her lips, slipping his tongue into her mouth. She stood stunned before him, before closing her eyes and sinking into his kiss. He backed her up and pushed her against the wall, deepening the kiss before running his tongue down her slender neck. He took a hand a slid it up her skirt, rubbing the wet cloth that covered her clit. She moaned out loud, throwing her head back, biting her bottom lip. He slipped his hand inside her pnaties and pushed a finger into her, cover her mouth with his to muffle her scream. Yuuki didnt know what to do. No man had ever touched her before, and rido was doing things to her that drove her crazy. He continued fingering her, nipping at her neck and kissing it lightly until Yuuki, could no longer take it and cummed on his hand._

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_"_I'm such an idiot." She cried sobbing harder. She had thought he loved her or at least wanted to be with her. After that first night, when he was so gentle to her. When he had given her everything she wanted and taken nothing. He had done nothing to show his true nature. She had actually lusted after him, laying in her bed at night wishing he would return to her. Wishing he would come and pleasure her more. And she got her wish, just not in the manure she expected.

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_Yuuki sat on her bed, her eyes closed as she thought about him. Rido. She hadn't seen him since the night in the classrom, almost a full month ago, but still, she wanted him. She wanted him to come and finish what he started. She was a virgin, or course, but she was compelled to give that up for him. Just to feel him inside her, thats all she wanted. Sighing, she stood up and walked to her window. There was a beautiful moon out, full and bright. She had looked out ever night to see if she saw him with the other night class students, but she never did. She watched as the last of them entered the school building and sighed._

_"What's wrong Yuuki?" Jumping slightly, Yuuki whirled around. It was him. He stood in the middle of her bedroom wearing the same smirk as he had the night they first met. "Were you looking for something?" He approached her staring into her eyes, there was something different about them, but she couldn't really place her finger on it. He lowered his head and kissed her, a bit more forcefully then he had the last time, his tongue more demanding, his actions more rough. She liked it though. This new aggressiveness he showed her. He pulled her hard against him,moving his brutal kiss to the sofft skin on her neck. He licked it, teasing and biting her, until she was weak in the knees._

_Pulling away from her he narrowed his eyes, smiling wickedly and baring his fangs. He scared her then, he nails began digging into her arms, puncturing her delicate skin. She cried out shocked by the pain that he was causing her. She looked into his eyes, a hurt expertion on her face, quickly replaced by fear, fear of his once beautiful eyes. _

_Yuuki pulled away from him, struggling to get free and begging him to let her go._

_"Please, Please let me go." She begged struggling harder and still unable to loose herself from his grasp. He squeezed her arms harder until she had no choice but to stop._

_"I though you wanted me Yuuki. You have cried my name out in your sleep, even pleasured yourself with my name on your tongue. I'm just here to give you what you wanted." With that he whirled her around, pushing her back against her bed, relishing the scent of fear that filled his nose. He listened to the sound of her heart beating wildly, hearing her blood as it rushed through her veins and yet again, his face changed. It was no longer a look ment to scare her, but simply satisfaction. And yet, that satisfaction scared her more than anything else he could have done._

"NO NO NO NO No!!" Yuuki screamed squeezing her hands over her ears as if she could stop it. As if she could stop theses past events from happening. But she couldn't and the images of that night continued to play through her head, as clear as the night it happened. How young she had been. Merely 15. She was so naive. Naive and stupid.

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_"Dearest," Rido whispered, "If you scream, I will kill you." He reached forward and ripped her night shirt with his claws, leaving her naked body open and expose to him. She whimpered and shut her, trying hard to think of something other than what she knew was about to happen. He quickly shed his clothing, lowering himself down onto her trembling form. He lowered his head and sank his fangs into the skin on her small breast. She hissed in pain, tears springing to her eyes as he drank from her, biting harder, tearing her flesh more. Blood ran down her chest, spilling onto the white sheets that covered the bed._

_Rido raised his head, staring at her with his blood still dripping from his lips. He snarled, grasping either side of her hips and slammed his hard dick into her small opening, tearing through her purity. This time, she screamed, unable to stop herself. It just hurt too much. Rido, didn't seem to notice. He began to move inside her, slowly at first, picking up the pace, ignoring her pleas for him to stop until they became..._ "No more." Yuuki begged. She didnt want to think about what happened next. "I can't... _please?"_ The tears flowed harder, and her sobbs grew louder. She couldn't face what happened next. Why? Why did she have to betray herself?

_"...more." Yuuki whispered. She closed her eyes, crying silently. "I want more." How could she want more. HE was raping her. He'd taken her innonce from her and yet, she was begging, no pleading him for him to give her more._

_"More you say?" Rido said, grinning. "Beg for it Yuuki. Beg and maybe I'll make this enjoyable for both of us." He stopped moving and stared down into her face, waiting for the words to pass through her trembling lips._

_"P-please." She sobbedout, hating herself. "Please give me more." Rido release a growl of ecstacy and began thrusting into her wildly, coaxing louder and more defined moans of pleasure from Yuuki. She felt herself nearing release and when she finally did, she screamed his name and tightened her legs around his waist. He released inside her, collapsing on top of her witha smile of satisfaction._

_After a few minutes, he stood and dress himself, hovering over her before speaking._

_"You will hate yourself for wanting Yuuki, you will hate yourself for desiring my touch, my caress, and you will hate yourself even more the day you call for me to come to you. When you have finally be stripped of all desire to live, just before you're hate destroys you, I will come to you and make you immortal and you will live with you hatred everyday. Everyday you will live hating yourself, knowing you can not day." _

_Then he was gone, as quickly as he had appeared, leaving Yuuki, curled up in the center of her bed, sobbing with contentment because as much as she hated to admit it, he was right. Even now, after he had raped her, she wanted him again. And thats when it began. That's when Yuuki began to hate herself._


	6. Chapter 6

**Must Read Author's Note First!!**

_Omg I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I could not figure out what should happen next. But heres the next cvhapt. And readers its up to you. If u want a full blown lemon for this chapter then say so in ur review and i'll put one._

Rido sat on the banister of Yuuki's balcony, a dark glint in his evil eyes. His suspicions had been confirmed. It was Kaname who had been feeding from his Yuuki; His delicate flower. She hadn't responded in the right manner last night. She had shown him nothing but her fear, and it angered him to no end. The scent of her fear truly did bring him pleasure, in fact, he relished it. Yet, what her truly wanted was her desire, her begging him to take her, as she had so many times before, when her fear gave way to pleasure, then anger and bitterness in her heated passion.

Closing his eyes, Rido though back to his favorite time with Yuuki. The time she actually searched for him when she wanted him to pleasure her.

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Yuuki stood across the clearing from him, her head bowed in shame. She wanted so much. Rido. She wanted to be filled with him, and she hated herself even more for her wanting him, but she couldn't stop herself, not this time. He had not come to her in over two months. His last words to her were,

"Next time, you will come to me, dearest Yuuki." He had said. And her she was. He had back turned to her, no doubt a smile on those perfect lips of his.

"Yuuki, to what do I owe this honor?" He asked her, his voice confident and strong, mocking almost.

'Bastard', She thought. "You know why I'm here. Don't mock me Rido." She bit out.

"I suppose you're just making your rounds," He replied, and began walking away. "I'll just get out of your way."

"NO!, Wait!!" She cried, hating herself for asking him to stop.

"Then, What do you want Yuuki. Answer quickly, I'm losing my patience." He stood waiting, he smile widening. She was right where he wanted her. She had finally come to beg.

"Rido, I want you," She whispered, her heart breaking as the words left her mouth. "Please, Please Rido, I want you." She dropped to her knees in defeat, awaiting his next move.

Rido turned and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her and placing a rough kiss on her soft lips.

"Very good my pet," He whispered into her ear. "Soon, you will be ready to be mine forever." He quickly shredded her school uniform and under clothes, so she sat naked on the ground in front of him. She bowed her head in shame. Soon she would be his again, he would be inside of her, filling her carnal desires, while her heart continued to shatter into smaller and smaller pieces. There was only one way to keep this from happening again. That was the night, Yuuki resolved to destroy herself.

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Rido growled in anger slamming his fist into the concrete railing. He watched as it crumbled, small fragments blowing in the wind. Jumping down, he began to make his way to the moon dorms. Yuuki would be his. He would see her broken into nothing before this week was out, and if Kaname Kuran got in his way, he would kill him.


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